Misty's Mayhem Read online

  “Did we get it right?”

  “What do you think?” Archer asked, running his finger along my lips.

  His touch ignited a warmth inside me. His smile made my heart beat faster. The thought of waking up next to Archer for all eternity made my stomach fill with happy dancing butterflies. The answer was clear.

  “I feel like we got it right,” I whispered as I crawled on top of him and straddled his chest.

  I leaned in and ran my tongue along the seam of his full, kissable lips. I wanted to explain to him what was happening inside me, but I couldn’t find the words. The only way to express what I felt was through movement and I was very good at that. With my body, I could show him my soul. With touch I could explain the depth of my need for him. I wanted to memorize every inch of his body and I wanted him to rediscover mine.

  “Keep your eyes open,” Archer insisted and his strong hands cupped my aching breasts and his lips captured mine. “I need you to see what you do to me.”

  My body felt molten and I was slowly coming apart in his arms. He flipped me beneath him while his tongue and lips feathered over my skin, sending wave after wave of desire roaring through me.

  “You’re mine,” I cried out as an orgasm raced through me.

  “And you’re mine,” he replied roughly as his lips continued their sensual assault on my willing body. “Wait. Is the door locked?”

  “Umm, no clue. We didn’t use the door to get here,” I said with a giggle.

  “Are your sisters going to show up?” he asked with a pained laugh. “Might be a little awkward.”

  “If they value their lives… no. However, I can do a little something about that,” I told him with a mischievous grin.

  I waved my hand and a burst of green sparkles left my fingertips twirling across the room. With a pop and sizzle, a padlock the size of a big screen TV appeared on my door. And to leave nothing to chance, I waved my hand again. A pale green shimmering haze covered my open windows. The sunlight could still peek through, but no one could see or hear what transpired inside.

  Archer’s laugh delighted me.

  “We’re an excellent team,” he murmured against my lips.

  “That we are,” I agreed as I writhed like a Mermaid in heat beneath him. “Are we gonna boink or talk?”

  “I’m definitely up for a boink,” he replied with a wolfish grin. “And Johnson-man tool is very up for it.”

  An intense desire took the express train right to my lady bits and I checked to see if Archer was indeed telling the truth about my good buddy, Johnson-man-tool. Taking him in my hand was all the proof I needed. Archer’s swift intake of breath and muttered curse changed the atmosphere quickly.

  It went from silly to serious fast. My demigod’s hands and mouth were everywhere. My nipples beaded and I rubbed my overheated body against his with abandon. It was perfect but I wanted more. I wanted to be closer than just skin on skin. I arched my back and opened my legs. Our kisses became frenzied and our desire overwhelming.

  “Want you,” I begged. “Want you now.”

  “And forever?” he asked as he teased me with his gorgeous body.

  “Forever and ever,” I gasped out, pulling him closer.

  “Good answer,” he growled as he entered me in one swift thrust.

  We both cried out at the feeling of becoming one. It was more intense than it had ever been. Did loving someone make it better? The answer was yes—an overwhelming yes. Orgasm number two overtook me and I screamed with ecstasy. My body trembled and I clenched him inside me as I rode out the aftershocks.

  “Again,” Archer demanded.

  My body obeyed even though my mind lagged behind. The man was a sex machine. As soon as the second orgasm ebbed another roared through my body. I rode it out as my body arched and tightened like a vise around his.

  “Keep your eyes open,” he demanded, still inside me. “You will watch me come. You will see what you do to me.

  I kept my green eyes pinned to his icy blue. The raw power and savage desire in his expression made it hard to breathe. He was not a man. He was a demigod. His voracious need matched mine and we were willing to give each other everything we wanted—everything we needed.

  “I love you, Misty,” he ground out as his body pistoned into mine—each thrust punctuating each beautiful word.

  “I love you too, Archer,” I promised as intense pleasure ripped through my still needy body.

  The speed of our lovemaking increased and Archer’s eyes grew wild and unfocused. I bucked like an animal beneath him and we careened toward an orgasm that might blow the entire island off the map of the Bermuda Triangle. My eyes stayed locked on his and the love in his gaze overwhelmed me. The guttural sounds he made sent me over the edge. This was love… and I loved it.

  “Come with me,” he growled as he seemed to grow larger inside me.

  “Always,” I cried out.

  And I did. We did.

  Love was the fucking bomb.

  15

  Archer

  “Misty, get up. NOW. Something is wrong,” I snapped, grabbing my clothes and jerking them on.

  “What?” she asked sitting up in the bed, alarmed. “They’re here?”

  Nodding curtly, I closed my eyes and let my senses roam. I could feel five of them and they were close. “Within fifty miles. The demons will be arriving shortly.”

  “I thought they would crash the wedding,” Misty said, dressing quickly.

  “As did I,” I told her. “Gather your sisters and the rest and meet me on the beach. I’ll get Thornycraft and his comrades.”

  “Arses,” she corrected me.

  “I’m sorry. What?”

  “Arses. They like to refer to themselves as arses. Go figure,” she said with a small worried smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

  “Fine,” I said, grinning despite everything that I now held precious was about to be on the line. “I’ll get the arses.”

  “How long do we have?” she asked as she sprinted to the door.

  “I’d say a half hour at the least. Forty-five minutes at the most.”

  “I love you, Archer. If you die today, I will yank your ass back from the Great Beyond and kick it so hard you’ll wish you were never hatched.”

  I raised my brow in surprise and laughed. I couldn’t have fallen for anyone other than the crazy emerald green-haired beauty who was threatening my immortal life. She was perfect.

  “Right back at you, Mermaid,” I said as I moved to her and swiftly kissed her lips. “You are my reason to live.”

  “Keep it that way,” she whispered and then disappeared through her door.

  I was going to take a shortcut. Time was of the essence.

  “Ye mutiny-minded crow bait,” Upton roared and walloped Thornycraft in the head.

  “That’s what ye get fer making me pee my breeches, ye pig perfumed milkmaid. Those were me special breeches,” he bellowed back with a grunt of laughter as he landed an outstanding left hook to Upton’s gut.

  The three arses proceeded to beat the stuffing out of each other while laughing like loons as I watched in shock. However, the most alarming part of the scene was the stench. What in Zeus’ Universe was that awful smell?

  “Yar a salt crusted, cod faced nard rat,” Bonar shouted as he pinched his nostrils shut and tried to dodge the punches. “Me sinuses are gone. Ye burnt me nose hairs right out of me nose, ye peg legged, sweatered son of a weevil.”

  “That’s what ye get, ye greasy haired shite hound,” Thornycraft said, now holding his own nose as well.

  “What in tarnation was in ye treasure chest?” Upton asked, also plugging his nostrils.

  “Cheese Danish,” Thornycraft announced with a wince and a gag. “Three week old cheese Danish.”

  These arses were completely insane. I was fully aware of how much Misty adored Thornycraft, but his idea of a joke was horrifying.

  “Love me some cheese Danish,” Bonar said with tears from the stench running down
his face. “But when the wee pastry has varmints living in it—not so much.”

  “Have ye learned yer lesson?” Thornycraft choked out, unable to stomach his own prank. “Me own little swimmin’ hooker came up with the idea. Misty is an evil genius.”

  Hmmm, I took note of that terrifying admission. No cheese Danish in our house. Ever. The arses were so asphyxiated at the moment they hadn’t noticed my arrival. Time to remedy that.

  “Gentlemen,” I said, pinching my nose closed. “The demons are close.”

  “What? Are ye sure?” Bonar asked. “Methought they would crash the weddin’.”

  “I’m sure. Are you three ready to reveal what you are?”

  Bonar and Upton, eyed me warily. Thornycraft simply shrugged.

  “Arses, he knows.”

  “Did ye tell the dingy dangler?” Bonar demanded, slapping Thornycraft with a rotten Danish.

  “Nay. The pontoon splinter can see through veil. Don’t know how, but he’s a powerful tar stain,” Thornycraft explained, throwing a pile of the festering dreck back at his friend.

  “How about this,” I suggested, snapping my fingers and making the offensive decaying pastry disappear. “You arses get your arses in gear and we go send some demons back to Hades?”

  “We won’t be needin’ to reveal our secret, ye scuttle hound,” Bonar said, tentatively taking his fingers from his nose and sniffing the now fresh air. “We’re stronger like we are. If we shift, the size and weight of me arses and me will sink the island to the bottom of the sea.”

  That didn’t sound good at all.

  “Fine. Don’t shift. It’s me they’re coming for. I want you to protect all the others. I’m on my own.”

  “Do ye think that’s wise, pontoon splinter?” Upton asked, narrowing his eyes. “I’ve heard tell of yer prowess, but yar talkin’ demons here.”

  “This is my fault. The tear in the abyss is there because I failed my responsibility. No one shall suffer because of me. Period,” I ground out through clenched teeth.

  I did not like to be second-guessed. I was a freaking demigod with a reputation as vicious as that of their kind, if not more so. I wasn’t used to anyone having my back other than Apollo occasionally. This was odd and I wasn’t sure if I liked it.

  “Fer better or worse, if yar connected to the swimmin’ hooker, yar connected to us,” Thornycraft said with a shrug. “Ye can yapyapyap all ye want, but we’re gonna do what we have to do. And just wait until ye lay yer peepers on me captain, Pirate Doug. That thar bastard is insane.”

  I already knew that… well, at least the insane part.

  “Fine. Let’s go,” I snapped, feeling strange.

  A premonition consumed me and I shuddered. Apollo had seen someone else’s blood and heard my screams. Someone would die today. I was going to make gods-damned sure it wasn’t my Mermaid.

  “Five minutes,” I said, closing my eyes and letting my power search the surrounding area.

  Misty stood silently at my side. Losing her was not an option. Honestly, I didn’t want her here, but I knew she would never forgive me if I magically sent her away. She was a fierce warrior in her own right. I loved the Mermaid and I respected her. She was mine.

  “I need you to grant me your job and I need Poseidon to approve,” I told her.

  Nodding unhappily, she spoke. “I willingly give the job of Cupid back to the demigod to whom it has always belonged.”

  “I accept the arrangement,” Poseidon said with the authority of the God he was.

  “The island is clear,” Tallulah reported with relief. “I sent all the humans on a day trip to the Sea Hag Caves. Bony Velma Dustface has orders to keep them there until it’s safe.”

  “Sweet Poseidon in a liquor store,” Ariel gasped and gagged. “Did you send them with nose plugs?”

  “Of course,” Tallulah said with an eye roll. “We don’t need to be sued for asphyxiation.”

  “I sense five demons,” Poseidon said.

  Wally gravely nodded her head in agreement. It was clear that even though she’d forfeited her demigoddess status, the power was still within her.

  The Sea God’s Johnson was still in a cast, but he’d had the wherewithal to wear a man diaper over it today. However, it looked like the idiot had a massive erection with the way his dick had been set in the plaster. It took all I had not to laugh at the absurdity.

  But today was no laughing matter.

  “Five,” Pirate Doug agreed. “But there are more.”

  “What do you mean?” I demanded, wondering if I’d misjudged the imbecile Pirate. Could he actually sense something I’d missed? He was in line to become a God sooner or later… hopefully later—much, much later.

  “Call me crazy or Sally or Dirk if you prefer—I’ve always thought Dirk was a fine name,” he said absently, narrowing his eyes at the horizon. “It feels like they’re carrying others inside them. Maybe the fuckers are pregnant—or cannibals.”

  That gave me pause. The Pirate was indeed crazy, but he might be onto something. Demons were hatched. Pregnancy wasn’t a possibility. Females were never sent to this plane as they were far too valuable to be destroyed. The cannibal theory? That I could believe.

  The question was, were they carrying dead demons or live demons?

  “That’s how they multiply,” Thornycraft stated flatly. “Ye have to destroy ʼem before the nards multiply.”

  “What’s the best way to destroy them?” Madison asked, armed to her teeth.

  The pink-haired Mermaid looked like the Terminator with breasts. I was even a bit frightened of her.

  “They have to be banished back to Hades by a god or demigod,” Poseidon said. “Which means, me, Archer, Wally and Pirate Doug.”

  “Holy shite,” Pirate Doug shouted and started high fiving all gathered. “Do you hear that shite? I’m a fucking god. But wait… What about the dick thing? I’m gonna have to pass if I have to handle any nards.”

  No one wanted to touch that one and no one did.

  “Wally’s a demigoddess?” Misty asked. “I thought she gave up the status to watch over the idiotic nard hole.”

  “Is she talking about me?” Pirate Doug asked.

  “She is, sweetie,” Tallulah said, patting his back.

  “Just checking,” he replied with a grin, clearly still high on the fact that he was a God.

  “Once a god, always a god,” Poseidon said, rolling his eyes at his son. “Gods forbid.”

  “Aye.” Thornycraft stepped in. “Little pink swimmin’ hooker, yer job will be to make sure the cutlass flappin’ riff raff don’t multiply before the gods can banish the shites with magic.”

  “Got it,” Madison said with a thumbs up and a bloodthirsty grin on her face.

  “Incoming,” Misty shouted pointing out at the waves. “Demons on the surface! I love you, Archer. Don’t die today.”

  “Roger that,” I said as I drew on my power within. “You will not die either. Clear?”

  “Roger that,” she said with a wide grin as she prepared to fight.

  I just prayed to Zeus both of us were telling the truth.

  16

  Misty

  “Holy hell and seashells,” I muttered as the demons surfaced and swam toward the shore like bullets out of a gun.

  They were semitransparent with blistered skin and enormous teeth. Their eyes were beady slits in their misshapen heads and instead of hands the demons had razor sharp claws. The smell of death wafted through the air and clouds moved quickly to cover the sun. It was now dark and ominous.

  My nightmares had never come close to imagining anything as horrid as what I was now seeing.

  “Don’t separate,” Archer shouted. “We fight in twos and threes. They will attack loners first.”

  “Aye,” Thornycraft shouted over the wind that had picked up substantially. “Methinks I’d like to fight with ye,” he said to me with a smile. “Are ye good with that?”

  “I’d be honored,” I said and gave my BFF
a quick hug.

  “Call the sharks, Misty,” Tallulah commanded.

  “On it,” I yelled back as I raised my arms to the sky and beckoned the deadly sea creatures. “Come to me, my friends. Slow the evil. Keith call the Krakens.”

  “Already done,” he said. “They’re thirty minutes out and coming in fast. Ten are on their way.”

  Ariel’s mate could actually speak with the sea creatures and understand what they were saying. Me? I could only ask for help.

  “Excellent,” I said, blocking the flying sand from my eyes.

  Archer stood front and center on the beach with Poseidon on one side of him and Wally on the other. Pirate Doug stood next to his father with his middle finger held high in greeting to the demons. It was wildly impressive to see so many gods in one place—the magic surrounding them was intense. My heart was in my throat, but I was a warrior. My love was a warrior as well. The human world would be fucked if we lost today and Zeus would be furious.

  I had no plans to lose and I knew Archer didn’t either.

  “Glitter fish bombs. GO,” I called out to my sisters as I threw an exploding sparkling grenade into the water. Several more followed and Madison was on fire… literally. It was one of her gifts. She literally became a searing hot pink flame and could incinerate anything within five feet of her without even touching it.

  “Oh my hell,” I gasped out as I noticed Bonar standing right next to my blazing sister. “He’s gonna get burnt to a crisp. Thornycraft, you need to save Bonar from Madison.”

  “Nay,” Thornycraft said with a chuckle as he pulled a sword so sharp and large from thin air I jumped back. “Bonar will be fine. Fire doesn’t affect swivlin’ nards like him.”

  “What is he?” I asked as I launched fish bomb after fish bomb at the evil demons.

  “Same as me,” Thornycraft answered. “Duck!”