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Peterman_SwitchHour_Gen_Nov2015 Page 6
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Green and blood red magical fire whooshed up my arms and a fury consumed me. I was certain I looked like a Christmas tree inferno, but this was no time to be vain. Were these the fuckers that had tried to kill little Bo? And now they were after my bodyguard? Hell no. Not on my clock.
I pointed and aimed. Blazing magic flew from my hands to the bad guys. Two honey badgers popped like watermelons when you dropped them off of a five-story building. How did I know this? Easy. I'd been tossing watermelons and other large fruit off buildings since I was a child. Innocent fun had been difficult to come by as a young witch...
The wolf glanced over in shock for a moment and then went back to his fight with a viciousness that left me a bit breathless. I sure as hell hoped he was the good guy because I was popping badgers like I popped bubble wrap. Between the two of us I was fairly sure we were winning.
It was all going swimmingly until my aim went awry and I zapped the wolf in the ass.
"Shit," I screamed as I watched him drop to the ground with a thud. At least he didn't pop.
The honey badgers that remained dove on him while several ran at full speed toward me. As soon as I was done here I was leaving this town. For real.
I lifted my arms and chanted to the Goddess.
"Evil is as evil does.
Help me save the day.
Take from this Earth the ones who sin.
Make them go away."
In a massive blast of magic each and every honey badger was blown to smithereens and I couldn't have been happier. Violence had never been my forte or desire, but when it came down to me or them I definitely voted for me.
Now for the wolf...
He was huge and smelled like sunshine and wind. WTF? Animals were supposed to stink. Thankfully he was still alive. Even though he was a bloody mess I wanted to bury my face in his fur. However, I needed to get the huge thing out of here. Who knew what else was lurking?
Only one problem… he weighed a ton.
I considered going back for help, but there was no way I was leaving him out here alone and practically dead. So I dragged him. Magic helped, but I was a bit depleted from my honey badger kill-fest. I was sweating and got his blood on my mini skirt. That was unacceptable. I needed to zap myself into a clean skirt, but that would be using my magic incorrectly according to Bumpy Yumpy. I hated Bumpy Yumpy.
Thirty minutes later and now sporting blood on my Prada flats and chocolate cami, I was pissed. But I was home.
"Get your asses out here and help me," I shouted.
Simon, Wanda, Bo, Fabio, Chuck and the trio I didn't want to know the names of came flying out of the house.
"Ohhhhhhh myyyyyy Goddesssss, what happened?" Fabio screeched.
"Honey badgers happened," I hissed.
"And you're still alive?" the rabbit asked.
"Apparently. And I sure as hell hope there are some flats in that Prada bag you brought because I ruined these. Help me get this damn wolf to the basement."
Fabio came right to my side, but the others were frozen in shock. As Fab would be of little help dragging the wolf, I slapped my hands on my hips and stared down the crowd.
"Did you stop speaking English while I was out popping honey badgers?" I demanded.
"You popped them?" the mountain lion asked, impressed.
"Like ticks. Now help me."
"That's Mac," the rabbit gasped. "What happened to him?"
"I had bad aim and I zapped him by accident," I explained to the flabbergasted group. "What? I didn't mean to."
"He's gonna be mad." The wolf I'd healed was grinning from ear to ear.
"And that's funny?" I ground out.
"Yep," he answered. "Very funny."
"Whatever. Just help me bring him to the basement."
"I think it would be better and more appropriate if we took him to a bedroom," Simon volunteered. He had gone pale and was shaking.
"Absolutely not. He may smell really good, but he's bleeding like a stuck pig and I am not doing laundry. He goes to the basement or he can bite it on the front lawn."
"You think he smells good?" Chuck asked, surprised.
All the damn Shifters tried to bite back delighted smiles. What was going on here?
"Yes. He smells good. So what?"
"Describe it," the mountain lion insisted gleefully.
"Oh my Goddess, this is so dumb. He smells like sunshine and wind. You want to know anything else while he bleeds out on the grass?"
"Nope." The mountain lion, wolf and Chuck the bear were positively ecstatic. They picked the wounded wolf up, took him to the basement and locked him in a cage.
"Is that really necessary?" I asked. "You can just leave him on the floor. You don't have to lock him up like a convict."
"Zeeelda just spent nine months in the pokey for killing meeeee," Fabio explained to a now confused crowd.
"TMI, dude," I told my cat. "Seriously, don't lock him up."
I had no clue why locking the wolf up bothered me but it did.
"Trust me," the rabbit chimed in. "It will be better for everyone if he's incarcerated when he wakes up."
The Shifters all moved quickly to the stairs and right out the front door, including Simon, Chuck, Wanda and Bo.
"Um, is there a reason you all are leaving so soon?" I asked, now somewhat uncomfortable and more than a little freaked out. "Is he going to want kill me or something like that?"
"Hell no," my mountain lion buddy said. "He won't harm a hair on your head. We just think you'll need some privacy."
With that cryptic message they fled. It was me and Fabio against the world...and the wolf.
"Was that as weird as I think it was?" I asked him.
"I'd haaave to say yesssss."
"Okay, good, because I'd hate to think I was crazy."
"Ohhhh, you're crazy, buuut that was odd."
"You're a pain in my ass," I told him as I flopped down on the couch and went for the remote of the lovely ginormous flat screen TV.
"Thaank youuuu. Can weeee watch Animal Planet?"
"No. No, we can't. Nice try though."
"How abooout Say Yes to the Dressssssss?"
"Now you're talking."
Chapter 9
I jerked up and gasped as I wiped the drool from my mouth. I had clearly fallen asleep. Dragging several hundred pounds of wolf and getting bled on can do that to a girl. Fabio was on my head and the racket coming from the basement made me shudder. The wolf was awake and he wasn't happy.
His bellowing was ear splitting and it was giving me a headache. Obviously he had shifted back to human form and was pissed. Suddenly it seemed like a very good idea that he was locked up, but if the violent cage rattling was any indication he wouldn't be locked up for long.
Shitshitshit.
"What do I do?" I hissed at Fabio as I pulled him off my head.
"Ruuun?" he suggested.
His recommendation had merit and I considered it for eight seconds, but when the shouting got even louder I got mad.
"I saved that stupid wolf's life. He is not going to give me a migraine," I groused as I got to my feet. "You coming?"
"Oooonly if youuuuu make me," he said.
"You're worthless," I muttered as I stomped to the door of the basement. I'd had enough of this crap. At least the last group I'd saved had brought me presents. This jackass was just loud and ungrateful.
"Let me out of here. Now," a deep and strangely familiar voice bellowed.
"If you would shut your cakehole for two seconds I might," I yelled as I rounded the corner and marched angrily into the room only to stop short and gape.
It was Hot Ass Guy from the grocery store and he was naked. About six feet four of total, furious buck ass naked perfection enthralled me and I couldn't move. His eyes narrowed dangerously as he took me in.
"I should have known it was you," he muttered disgustedly.
"Listen, you unappreciative asswaffle, you need to change that crappy attitude or I'll leave you in that
cage," I shot back. I also tried like hell not to stare at his truly spectacular package.
"Did you just call me an asswaffle?" he asked in shock.
"Yes, I did...because you are."
"My eyes are up here," he countered dryly.
I felt the heat crawl up my neck and land on my cheeks as I yanked my gaze from his abundant man jewels to his face.
"Can't blame a girl for looking," I informed him, hoping I sounded casual and uninterested. My bored tone was actually pretty good, but my insides were on fire and my lady bits were screaming. Holy Hell, if I let him out there was a fine chance I'd jump him.
"If you release me I'll let you touch it," he offered in a voice that made my knees weak.
"No. You're a pig. I wouldn't touch that thing if you paid me," I snapped. "I'm sure it's had a very active social life."
"First of all I'm a wolf, not a pig—pig shifters don't exist. As far as my Johnson's social life goes, he knows what to do."
He grinned and my panties dampened.
"So you're the new Shifter Whisperer?" he asked doubtfully.
"First of all, you really need to come up with a more original name than Johnson for your weenie, and even if you begged I wouldn’t touch that behemoth with a ten foot pole. And no, I am not the new Shifter Woowoohoodoo. I'm just filling in until you idiots find a permanent replacement. Now if you want me to fix you, you will have to cover your Johnson or shift back to wolf."
"Come here," he said softly.
"Um… I don't think that's a good plan," I mumbled as I fought to unlock my green eyes from staring into his sapphire blue ones.
"Come here," he repeated softly.
Son of a bitch, his voice was like honey and he smelled like heaven. My body yet again took over for my brain. I walked toward the wolf like a moth to a flame.
As I approached his eyes grew wide and he sniffed the air. He winced and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Stop that. I do not smell bad," I snapped just before I angrily walked to the cage and poked him. "You are rude and I might not fix you."
He grabbed my hand and pinned me against the cage. "This is not happening," he muttered. "This cannot be happening."
"You may be hot but you're weird...and you're scaring me. Let me go. Now."
I tried to jerk away but he held me fast. His scent was making me dizzy and my stomach was hosting a track meet. I needed to get away from him. Quickly.
"Open the cage, Zelda."
He was very sexy and I was very horny. Not a good combo.
"Nope, and how do you know my name?"
"Your Aunt Hildy spoke of you often," he said. His grip lessened but still kept me trapped.
"Oh my Goddess," I grumbled, hating my aunt. "Did you do her too?"
"Don't talk about her like that," he ground out through clenched teeth. "She was like a mother to me."
"Awesome," I yelled, completely relieved that he hadn't humped Hildy. "Now let me go or I won't heal you."
"I wouldn't need you to heal me if you hadn't zapped my ass with a volt that should have killed me." He raised his eyebrows, obviously waiting for an apology. It was never coming in this lifetime.
"I saved your hairy butt, you unthankful jerk," I informed him as my eyebrows shot higher than his.
"I was doing fine until you showed up."
His arrogance made me grind my teeth.
"Right." I rolled my eyes. "It certainly looked that way with twenty honey badgers taking a bite out of you."
"I was minutes away from destroying them when you jumped in. You could have died," he accused.
"Yes, but instead I popped all the fuckers and dragged your sorry ass here. You bled on my Prada and Max Midnight. I don't like you."
"Who is Max Midnight?" he demanded as he pulled me closer. His eyes were wild and it was sexier than hell. I had to hold my tongue so I didn't beg to touch his damn Johnson.
"My miniskirt, you asshole."
"It's not your lover?" he asked as he calmed a little.
WTF? Was he jealous?
"Um… no."
"Do you have a lover?"
"I really don't see how that's any of your business, Wolf Boy. Do you have one?"
The question flew from my lips before I could stop it. Alarmingly, I realized if he said yes I would get her name and go kill her.
Wait. What was going on here?
"As of a moment ago I'm off the market," he said as he watched me closely.
"That makes no sense, Little Mister. However, if you don't let go of me I will smite your sorry ass and you won't fucking live through it this time."
"Nice mouth." His grin was intoxicating. I wanted to bite on his full lips and ride him like a cowboy. There was no way in Hell I was letting him out.
"Thank you—I try. Now let go."
"Unlock the cage and I'll let you go," he bargained.
It was either a lose-lose scenario or a win-win depending on how you looked at it. I was not a virgin, but I'd never been so wildly attracted to anyone in my life. I was sure there was some kind of Witch-o-cratic oath that stated I couldn't have hot monkey sex with my patients.
Decisions sucked.
"No. I think that's a bad idea," I said as my traitorous body leaned closer to the cage and the beautiful, dangerous man inside.
"It's an incredibly bad idea," he agreed. "But you will do it."
"Will you hurt me?" I whispered, mesmerized by his mouth.
"Only if you're into that," he replied just as quietly. "Personally I'm not into pain, but if it makes you happy…"
"Um, no. I'm not really into that. A spanking is nice, but…" I slapped my hand over my mouth and groaned in mortification.
His sexy chuckle made me clench my thighs together.
"What are you doing to me?" I asked as I futilely tried to wiggle out of his iron grip. Did werewolves have magic I wasn't aware of? I'd always had a healthy sex life with absolutely no commitment, but this was nuts. I was naming our children in my head. He had to have cast a spell on me.
"The same thing you're doing to me," he told me. "I'm not sure I like it, but I have very little control over it."
"I think I was just insulted," I huffed in exasperation when I finally was able to yank myself free. "You've spelled me or something."
"Or something," he agreed and ran his free hand through his thick dark hair.
"Look, just shift back to wolf, I'll fix you and you can leave. Forever."
He paced the cage and my eyes were glued to the rippling muscles in his thighs and ass. No one had the right to look like him. He was gorgeous. I was in trouble.
"You're my mate," Mac said as he shook his head in confusion.
WTF?
"And you're on crack. I'm a witch and you're a wolf. I was not built to blow puppies out of my hooha."
His eyes shot to mine and a burst of laughter came out of him. "You did not just say that."
"I most certainly did, so turn off the testosterone and get that redonkulous idea out of your head. Immediately."
"As much as I'm at loath to admit it, I do need your help. I'll shift and then you can let me out of the cage. Deal?"
He did look beat up...and I did zap his ass. If he was in wolf form I wouldn't tackle him. This could work. Maybe...
"Shift first," I told him. "And then I'll let you out."
He shrugged and shifted. It was beautiful to watch. His wolf was large. His fur was the same chocolate brown as his hair and his eyes were the exact same mesmerizing blue. I was still mystified as to why he smelled so delicious, but ignored all the warning bells in my head.
I focused on the goal. Fix the hot guy and get rid of him. Wolf Boy was nothing but trouble.
I approached him slowly just in case he was screwing with me and shifted back. I knew I couldn't be trusted if he was in his human form. He was just too pretty.
"My spleen is damaged. Touch my back. That should work and if you're feeling generous, my ass is extremely sore from your magic…
"
His wolf winked at me and I giggled.
"Tough shit about your ass." I grinned as I laid my hands on his back and then quickly contracted in horrific pain. I sucked in a huge breath and let the lavender magic consume my body and flow into his. My breathing grew labored and I felt lightheaded. He was badly injured and needed me. He twisted in agony beneath my touch, but I hung onto him for dear life. It hurt like hell. I really wasn't cut out for this selfless crap.
I heard and felt a click as his insides mended. I dropped to the floor next to him, put my hands over my eyes and fought to catch my breath.
"Are you all right, Zelda?" His voice was troubled and he nudged me with his cold wet nose.
"Sure. Fucking awesome," I grunted as the dizziness abated. "I did my part. Now you leave."
"Go to the other side of the room," he instructed. "I'm going to shift and I don't trust myself with you."
Hell, he didn't trust himself? We were in trouble here. I scampered across the room and waited.
The shift was quick and he looked much healthier and bigger than he had in the cage. My instinct was to throw myself into his strong arms, but I held back.
"You do realize you're mine," he said as he watched me warily.
"I belong to no one but myself. I don't even like you."
"I'm not sure I like you much either," he replied. "But I have never wanted anyone so badly in my life."
"Ditto," I said as I slowly eased my camisole over my head.
"What are you doing?" His voice was pained as he watched. I could feel with every fiber of my being he was seconds away from snapping and attacking me.
"Honestly, I have no idea. My brain says to run, but my lady parts and the rest of my body are insisting on a different plan of action."
His eyes hooded and he watched me with rapt attention. "If you remove any more of your clothing I will take that as an invitation."
"To what?" I purred as I kicked out of my shoes and wondered what the hell had gotten into me.
"To fuck you senseless."
My knees buckled for real at his blunt statement and I held onto the wall for purchase. As badly as I wanted to tear off my skirt and wear it on my head I stopped. "You eat with that mouth?"
"Why don't you come over here and find out?" he suggested. He leaned back on the wall and crossed his massive arms over his muscular chest.